Fuck them Highlighter Ass LimeBikes

Fuck them E.T. phone home cruiser but no beach limewire ass bikes.

Don’t get me wrong, I love the idea of increasing accsessibility to people across social-economic statuses. We all know St. Louis needs some help increasing accessibility for those that need it with the city’s refusal to expand the MetroLink. But I loathe the fact that people are equating having these bright ass bikes as something “nice for the city” *insert mocking spongebob meme here* and that people “stealing” them and vandalizing them is why St. Louis can’t have nice things. 

Here are some facts:

  1. LimeBikes are tracked by GPS and are contolled by smart lock that prevents the back tire from moving until the bike is unlocked by phone.
  2. You can literally park the bike anywhere you want. Yes, that includes the North Side of St. Louis. That’s the whole point of it being a bike sharing company. 
  3. You need an app to unlock the bike and it costs $1 to unlock for 30 minutes and 15 cents a minute after that. Also, if you don’t relock your bike when you park it/finish riding it, it is essentially unlocked and a free ride for anyone that comes across it . 

Now that we have the facts out of the way, let me address the problems:

  1. When you see a group of LimeBikes being ridden by a group of black youth and assume they are stolen YOU are the problem with St. Louis. YOU are the reason we can’t have nice things because you hate Black people. I already explained that these bikes are tracked by GPS and locked through technology. Did I mention they have alarms on them? So if they are locked but you are moving them, an alarm sounds. And if the bikes really are being stolen — fuck them bikes. If the kids in St. Louis can’t get a decent education, access to healthy food, and a safe environment, the least they can get is a free bright ass bike. 
  2. Yes. Some bikes are being vandalized, but guess what? This has happened in every single city that this company launched in. It’s not a St. Louis thing. It’s a people thing. The company anticipated vandalism when they started the company. People vandalizing bikes is, again, NOT why St. Louis doesn’t have nice things. You know why St. Louis doesn’t have nice things? Racism.
 Seattle (AKA not St. Louis)

Seattle (AKA not St. Louis)

 Seattle again (AKA not St. Louis)

Seattle again (AKA not St. Louis)

 Dallas (AKA not St. Louis) 

Dallas (AKA not St. Louis) 

Fuck LimeBike and fuck anyone that thinks a million dollar company bringing ride sharing to our dilapidated, segregated, and racist ass city is the greatest thing to happen here since the invention of the ice cream cone. If you want, use the bike to help with short commutes or ride around the park or take a trip downtown, but shut the fuck up about these bikes being nice things cause at the end of the day, it’s just a bike. And what we need is a lot nicer than that shit. 

 Don't worry, this is Dallas (AKA not St. Louis) 

Don't worry, this is Dallas (AKA not St. Louis)