I admit, I am not the best when it comes to commitment. When I subject myself to dating in this trash ass dating world, I am fully aware that, sometimes (most times), I contribute to the trash.
It happens all the time. I meet someone. Get to know them. Start vibing with them. Love intercourse. And that’s it. I don’t want to commit. I just want to chill and eat snacks in bed. This has been okay for me — mostly.
I say mostly because there are times when it is not okay. I repeat the cycle. Meet. Get to know. Vibe. Snack. Intercourse. Want to quit before we get too serious. And think that it’s cool because I assume the guy is on the same page, except there are times when he is not.
There are times when a guy wanted to be serious with me but because I didn’t want to, they pretend like they were just out to smash.
Whoa buddy. You got too much kif in your spliff.
I get it. Rejection is embarrassing. No one likes being in an unrequited love affair. But don’t lie like you didn’t care. Don’t lie like all you wanted was to hit. I thought we were better than that.
A guy once “fell in love with me” (whatever that means). He wanted a relationship. I told him before we started talking that I didn’t want any parts of a relationship. I wasn’t mentally ready for one. I just wanted to coitus and chill. Netflix and nut. Cuddle and cut. You get it. He said he was cool with that, until he wasn’t.
When he propositioned me for a relationship I guess he assumed I would be jumping for joy. I wasn’t. It was awkward. We immediately went from kicking it together often, to not talking at all.
I was upset because I thought I lost someone I considered a friend. That is, until I found out we weren’t friends like I thought we were. I found out he was talking shit. He was telling people I just some 2-dollar hoe he wanted to bust down. I may be akin to a hoe, but I’m damn sure worth more than 2 dollars.
Like hold on dude, that ain’t the story you were saying last week when you asked me to be your girl. I felt betrayed. Dude was really out here making up shit because his ego was hurt. That hurt me more than anything because I thought we were cool.
I’m trying to get better with my intimate relationships. I know I suck, but at least I’m not lying about what’s going on and what happened between me and whatever his face. I think he was a Cancer cause he was crying and shit. Or maybe a Leo, cause they be lying. No matter whatever his sign was, I need him to know to keep it G, don’t lie about our time together.