I opened my text messages and read another text from a guy that has been waiting for me to reply for 3 days now. It read, “I guess you’re not interested in me anymore.”
I was going to ignore it and go on with life because he was right. I was no longer interested in him. He was a nice guy. We had several phone conversations. Always text. Never calls. We had been talking for maybe 2 weeks. Banal yet polite conversations about what I was doing or how his workday was going.
We went on one date. After the date I decided I wasn’t interested in him. No reason. I just knew the chemistry wasn’t there. No point in continuing something you know won’t work out, right?
Prior to the date we would text each other everyday or at least every other day. After the date I stopped responding to his text messages. I would receive a “what’s up,” read it, and go about my day without second thought about responding.
He text me again the next day. “Hey.” I did it again. I ignored his text and went about my day.
The next day he text me again. I was confused as to why this guy did not get the picture already. He had already double texted me without a response, and was now putting himself out there to ask if I was no longer interested.
I was about to ignore him again, then I paused. I thought back to times when I’ve been really interested in a guy and tried to get to know him, just to have him ignore me and cease communication with me out of no where.
I remembered how I felt in those moments. Thinking what did I do wrong to have someone just stop talking to me. Especially when I thought we were cool.
At that moment I decided to change that. I texted him back, “Hey it was nice hanging with you. I appreciate the date, but I’m not really interested.” Simple.It didn’t hurt me to express what was going on, and letting him know was better than having him text me with no response and no idea what went wrong.
Ghosting is described as “The act of suddenly ceasing all communication with someone the subject is dating, but no longer wishes to date.” Basically it’s taking the easy route out in dating. It’s much easier to ignore someone than it is to tell them that you’re not interested, right?
Except it’s not right. It’s childish, and frankly, rude. People have feelings.When we ghost people we are being selfish and not respecting the other person as an emotional being.
If we take the time out to get to know a person, learn their likes and dislikes, sometimes even go as far as getting to know their family and friends, we should have the decency to let them know we don’t want to continue anything with them. I mean, we let them know everything else about us so why not communicate with them?
In any relationship, communication is key. That includes moments when you are ending a relationship. Whether you are dating, “talking,” or in a serious relationship, don’t ghost your partner. Let them know what’s up or you just might end up on the opposite side of “ghosting” next time.